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sauder warships

from What's Eating Richard Ripple by Corvus B.

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lyrics

the wood of this pew is warmer
than my priest's glass eyes
stained panes straining
with the shaking of an organ
coughing dust clouds from disuse
and I'm wearing a skirt and I'm nervous
and thinking that creaking knees arent louder than stomachs
and that I don't think God wants my palm sweat
psalms wet with self fulfilling faith jizz
stranger, feel how strong my god is as we shake hands
and I pretend im steady in my skin
i couldn't find holy until I left a congregation
i found it in my basement
collecting in my fingertips
the night I almost left
and I found it In cars vibrations
from standing on highway bridges
trying to feel my pulse as something bigger than just goosebumps
i found alive in getting out of bed on all the days I wanna die
and forcing myself to walk outside until there's no sole left in my shoes
and I pray to the clouds now
cause sunlight expects too much from me
and God expects too much from me
and I just wanna sit in the rain

credits

from What's Eating Richard Ripple, released June 3, 2016

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about

Corvus B. Massachusetts

queer spoken folk from the mouth of the Merrimack River

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